A Member’s Journey: Finding My Voice

Submitted by Lee Anne Hellesto, Nurse Practitioner

I really started down my path in my 50’s (and no, you don’t have to wait that long!!). I had just finished NP school and had a good job in Internal Medicine treating the elderly population. I felt strongly was in the right place and helping people who needed help. After several years, I noticed I was feeling “flat”, not depressed, just no juice. I tried to fill up with life activities to “energize” myself but the feeling persisted. One day I mentioned it to a friend and she suggested I try a workshop she and another friend were putting on about midlife and what was next. That workshop and the ones following changed my life.

The workshop was about opening to hear my inner voice, to understand what I really wanted. Boy did I struggle!! I had spent so many years doing everything the way I was “supposed to” that I really did not know what I wanted. I came to understand deep down I had been treading water, waiting for some unknown something. That one workshop cracked my heart open. Two days after the workshop I went for a drive on a beautiful fall day, turned on Celtic Women, singing to I Am The Sky and The Sun and cried for 45 miles. I just kept the song on repeat and let the tears flow. On my return home I did the same thing. After 90 miles of crying, I went to my friend and demanded, “What the hell did you do to me?” Thus began my foray into the world outside the conventional.

I signed up for more workshops searching for me, digging deeper under all the layers of resistance I had built up. I went to the National Wellness Conference and found other professionals who approached medicine entirely differently. My world was opening up and I encountered Integrative Medicine with its Holistic approach. I was returning to my roots and what I learned in nursing school.

At the same time, the Universe had other lessons for me. As I opened up I started feeling other people’s symptoms in my body. I experienced muscle weakness, neurologic symptoms and profound fatigue. I was completely freaked out. I reached out to my friends trying to understand what was going on. This led me to my first energy teacher who helped me manage what I was experiencing and introduced me to Energy Medicine. I worked with her for the next 5 years. She was a phenomenal healer the like of which I have not found since.

I found myself in two worlds: practicing Integrative Medicine with a holistic focus and being strongly aware of the energetic nature of the disease process. I started quietly practicing some energy techniques in my office and getting amazing results. One example was dropping a client’s pain level from a 6/10 to level 2/10 in 4 breaths. I was blown away.

Still, I struggled with stepping forward to be the real me. I strongly felt I had to stay in my head and do medical care according to the rulebook, according to the ways other providers had proven to work. But my heart told me symptoms had simpler solutions with Energy Medicine. This struggle with duality, staying in my head as opposed to leading with my heart, has continued for many years.

Again the Universe had a different idea on how to reveal my path. Clients kept showing up at my door for Energy Medicine, and the results we were getting had no medical explanation. They ranged from bringing brain function back online five years post Traumatic Brain Injury, to healing chronic pain, to releasing frozen shoulder;  and the results were rapid!

Yet, I struggled to even name what type of Energy work I was doing (I have since found Intuitive Energy Medicine!!! Yea!). I read, researched, and considered many classes/workshops/programs trying to find my answers. Ultimately, every time, it came back to a quiet answer from inside me that I had all the knowledge and training I needed.

That sentence bears repeating: a quiet answer from inside me that I had all the knowledge and training I needed. This sentence may strike home with those of you reading this.

Get quiet, get still, ask the question and listen closely to your heart. You are here on this planet now to bring your unique gifts to this time and you are the only one with your extraordinary experiences and talents. Come and join us.

Lee Anne